You know what is ridiculously expensive? Sex machines. I remember coveting a Sybian so bad that I had elaborate plans to build my own. As it turns out I suck at making things, but you know who doesn’t suck at making things? A little company called Orgasmatronics.
One of Orgasmatronics sexy creations is the Orgasmatron. Currently in its second iteration, the Oragasmatron X2 is essentially a hand held sex machine.
This hand held orgasm machine was not brought to us by a time-traveling time lord, but it was brought to us by a doctor. An eccentric mad scientist of the bedroom named Doctor X. Treme.
Dr. X used to work in a science lab while secretly longing for something more exciting. Something with less pants. The story goes that Dr. X’s wife presented him with a challenge “Build me a sex machine?”. And the the Orgasmatron was born.
The Orgasmatron X2 doesn’t ‘thrust’ like a fucking machine or ‘rotate’ like the attachment of a Sybian. The X2 produces a movement that is best described as a ‘gyration’. This movement is controlled through a variable speed dial and ranges from gentle to spinning dervish. In theory it’s similar to a vibrator, but in practice if you hold the Orgasmatron X2 while it’s on, your fingers, hand, arm, and often soul will start gyrating along with the Orgasmatron.
“Well what good does a large gyrating light bulb do me?” I hear you asking. Once I come to grips with the odd reality where I can ‘hear’ you asking questions through my blog, I respond with “Well the Orgasmatron X2 offers many attachments for transmitting these gyrations to your sensitive spots”
- Rosa Attachment
- Lilly: The bumps along Rosa are very pleasant! I like to place this attachment in such a way that the bumps run from my clit to back end. In this position the nubs are penetrating past my labia just ever so slightly. I was able to squirt with this one.
- Max: Well there’s no way around it, the Rosa attachment looks like a friendly red stegosaurus! This one looks cool, but I have no idea where to put it! Loved using it on Lilly though.
- Grace Attachment
- Lilly: I enjoyed using Grace and trying to pleasure both my front and back end. The curve of the larger phallus proved to be too tight of an angle for insertion while using the smaller protuberance on my bottom. I could press them against me and enjoy the sensation, but the spacing just didn’t match my body size.
- Max: It’s a fiddler crab claw! I had a heck of a time using Grace with the smaller ‘claw’ forward, my balls kept getting in the way. Turned the other way, the larger one was much easier inserted, but the smaller nub served little purpose in this configuration. Not bad, but I feel this one was built more for those entities sporting a vagina.
- Jane Attachment
- Lilly: I LOVED this one. It’s nice and long, and feels great. This is my go-to attachment when I don’t want to fuss!
- Max: This is a great attachment to start with, it’s function is direct and obvious. Put the part that sticks out inside of you, then rock and roll. The Jane ‘dildo’ is fairly firm, so you won’t receive as much wobble as you will from softer dildos attached with Polly.
- Polly Attachment
- Lilly: This is my favorite attachment as the possibilities are unlimited! The purple Polly attachment is stetchy and has many holes so you can attach many of your existing toys to the Orgasmatron. You can even attach multiple dildos to Polly at the same time. With Polly I have used the Orgasmatron X2 simultaneously with others which was a ton of fun.
- Max: Boring old dildos take on new life as each toy seems to vibrate at a unique resonant frequency. One of my personal favorites is our small chance, as its a softer longer toy and it ‘waggles’ like crazy! The Polly attachment is really where the Orgasmatron shines. The gyration is far more interesting to me than simple vibration and has actually helped me get thicker parts of toys in that I’ve struggled with previously. Polly is a MUST buy. I was even able to use some rope and attach a penetrable toy to the Orgasmatron X2.
Lilly and I also own an Orgasmatron X1 that we have used extensively. In form and function the X1 is nearly Identical to the X2, only the Orgasmatron X2 features the following welcomed improvements:
- Cord entry point that is protected with silicone base.
- Soft Silicone covering for the hard plastic shell.
- 2 flat sides along the ‘bulb’ to hold attachments in place and prevent precession.
- Marginally quieter, due to the silicone covering.
- Intensity control located closer to ‘bulb’ along cord.
Note: X1 attachments will work on an X2 but they will not stay on as firmly and may precess.
Life Of The Party
The Orgasmatron X2 is a toy we bring to all of our social Kink and Swinging events. It livens up any sex-positive gathering and there is usually a line of willing participants that want to try it out. The toy is unique and draws a crowd, in no small part because of the noise. As mentioned earlier, the Orgasmatron X2 is marginally quieter than it’s predecessor, but don’t expect a simple door to shield the noise from your gyrating love session. The attachments are colorful, soft to the touch, and a ton of fun to try in different ways. So if you are looking for a sex machine that can fit your purse AND your wallet you should give the Orgasmatron X2 a spin. Or a gyration, as the case may be.
From now until Cyber Monday, pick up the Orgasmatron X2 for $50 off!