Peter Spunk-In-Tail: Bunny Buns by Primal Hardwere

Transcript Here comes Peter spunk-in-tail Hopping up your happy trail Slipperty Cockity Easter’s on its way! Max: Hello and welcome to this Carnal Chameleon audio review. I’m Max Chameleon. Lilly: I’m Lilly Chameleon Max: Today we have a special treat for you for Easter. It is the Primal Hardwere Bunny Butt. The Primal Hardwere Bunny […]

Voyages in Sex Toy Exploration: Topco Rechargeable Magic Massager 2.0

Sex Toy Stardate… 32016.2: On the 3rd planet from the local celestial body I have found something spectacular. A toy that I thought was lost to us never to return like those dreaded tribbles. I had found a wand. But not just any wand. A powerful cordless rechargeable massager wand. With the utmost urgency I must […]

2015 ‘Gutter-List’ How Did We Do?

A year ago Lilly and I compiled our first “gutter-list” of sex toys we would like to try. Lets step through the 6 part list and see how we did. LELO: Ina Wave (FAIL) We never actually got our hands on an Ina Wave. We did manage to review the LELO which we liked well enough […]

Bumble Bee holds a Frisky Beast Input Valve

More Than Meets The Eye: The Input Valve From Frisky Beast

When I was young I coveted a Transformer toy more than just about anything. As luck would have it my family wasn’t very affluent. I had grown up having to make such concessions as Mega Blocks instead of Lego, Turbo Wheels instead of Hot Wheels, and of course Go-Bots instead of Transformers. Once, while spending the night at my uncle’s house, I […]

Orgasmatron X2

The Orgasmatron X2 Sex Machine: Gyration Is the New Vibration

You know what is ridiculously expensive? Sex machines. I remember coveting a Sybian so bad that I had elaborate plans to build my own. As it turns out I suck at making things, but you know who doesn’t suck at making things? A little company called Orgasmatronics. One of Orgasmatronics sexy creations is the Orgasmatron. […]

Adventures In Business Travel: ‘Easy Beat’ TENGA Egg Pack

Max’s Log: Day 0 Location: Denver, CO You have got to be kidding me!? 2 separate business trips nearly back to back? Ugh, I have to dress up and pretend to be a normal productive member of society, gross! What about evening entertainment? Most of my sex toys are not things I’d like TSA to come […]

Lovehoney Lola Realistic Vagina

Lola Ribbed Vagina by Lovehoney Teaches Us Some New Tricks

♫ I met her on a site where you should go It’s called Lovehoney and they know how to make you Moan-a M – O – A – N – A Moan-a She walked up to me and she asked me to wank I asked her her name and in a sultry voice she said […]

Heated Blanket, Lube Warmer, and Fleshlight sleeve warmer in front of a fire.

Warm Up The Bedroom #1: Fleshlight Sleeve Warmer

Lilly opens the door to the apartment and removes her jacket and shoes before continuing to the kitchen. She then comes to an abrupt stop, as she is bewildered by what she sees. Max, clad only in a white lab coat and welder’s goggles (a Dr. Horrible costume from Halloween) has three liquid-filled bowls on the kitchen counter. In each […]

Anthro Shark: Deep Blue Sex

Baz Hogan: Storm’s dying down. Nova Clarke: How can you tell? Baz Hogan: Not as many sharks flying around. After starting a sex toy review with a Sharknado quote, I think it may be time to re-evaluate my life and each of the decisions that has lead me to this one particular moment. However, in […]